iBrasten

My methods of calculating time are far superior to yours, in every way.

About

This is the blog of Brasten Sager, a freelance software developer, Mariners fan (nevermind), guitarist, haphazard philosopher.

Hanging by a moment...

October 13, 2005 @ 02:33 AM

This is not a NEW post.  It is something I wrote a while ago.  But I re-read it recently and thought I should post it here:

Cringe
Do you have situations in life, things that have happened in the past, that still pop up in your mind once in a while and make you cringe? Things where you said or did something that was entirely misunderstood, or perhaps wasn’t but in hindsight, was just plain stupid? Why is it these things continue to haunt us?

There are two things in particular that pop immediately to mind for me, so in the interest of mental purging, I will explain one of them to you now.

Firstly, 5 years ago I was just beginning my first year at a new university. I wasn’t a freshman, I was a transfer student, but I didn’t know anyone there of course. I’ve always been a quiet person, even a little shy, but much more so back then. Anyway, we were having a little ‘get-to-know-everyone’ session in my dorm lobby. About 50 people were there. This was the chance that everyone had to get to know you for the first time… Going around the circle, we were each to explain ourselves in a few short sentences. You all know the drill. My time came and went uneventfully, thankfully.

Here’s where it got weird.

About 10 people later, some girl in the middle of her explanation made a completely derogatory remark about the people who live in the particular town I lived in. In trying to defend myself, I made a loud, snobby comment right back to her. Complete silence. A couple random chuckles. After what felt like an eternity, she continued with her story. Upon reflection later that night, I had realized that this girl had not said what I thought she’d said. She hadn’t said anything close to it. In fact, she was just explaining where she was from. From everyone else’s viewpoint, there would have been absolutely NO connection to what she had just said and me, let alone from her statement to what I said to her. It would have appeared as if I’d just randomly blurted out what – out of the context I had believed - would’ve been extremely insensitive and rude.

I know that the next day, nobody thought about that. Nobody to this day would probably remember that incident.

But I do. And to this day, when that thought enters my mind, I cringe.

-

As a follow up, one of my favorite quotes is from Dr. Phil, who said: "You wouldn’t worry so much about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did."

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